I'm feeling out of sorts lately...not physically per se (although yes, this week I'm a bit under the weather)...but more out of sorts about me. I'm not enjoying myself much lately...not enjoying me. And usually, I'm pretty happy spending time with me. But lately, I find I have these pangs of loneliness that overwhelm me...but for what I pine, I do not know. I realize this is a tough time of year for me...the holidays don't make me as happy as they once did...I miss family that is no longer with me - those who have departed this world and those who just live too damn far away. I'm okay that I'm alone...that's a choice I've made and is really not a feeling...it's my option as to what is best for my life. So for me being alone is very different than "lonely"...and today, I'm just lonely...and missing something...almost like I'm missing a part of me. The full moon is not helping matters for me...
But, I am a Gemini...so I'm sure by the morning I'll probably be back to my normal bitch self...so I got that going for me. Which is nice.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Snowy Days
So we're back to getting snow here in the heartland...can I just say that I'm very tired of winter already and I know I've still got a long way to go. 13 inches of snow today is just a tad much for me though. I give thanks for my awesome neighbors though...Jack was out most of the early part of the day with his snowblower...the only thing I had to clear out today was the back deck so the dog had a place to do her bidness.
And speaking of my neighbors...Jack was first to visit me today while he was shoveling the front porch, I invited him in for some coffee and to warm up. We chitchatted for a bit. I have known for awhile (2 year almost now) that he and his wife really miss my stepmom. And today I learned that he thinks of me as a daughter. That was a really nice thing to hear...I appreciate and love my neighbors...I rely on them for quite a bit, I know I can count on them and I hope that they know they can count on me too. They are my "extra" parents. Jean came to see me after Jack's visit...it was great to have her over here too -- I know she doesn't like to come over often as she thinks that she's interrupting my homework but the thing is, I welcome the breaks! I keep telling her that too.
So that was my snow day...visits from my great neighbors to take my mind off homework for a little bit, a nice fire going, a great workout, feeling happy and content with where I am, and then some guilty pleasure (read: bad) movies...all in all, it was a really good day.
And speaking of my neighbors...Jack was first to visit me today while he was shoveling the front porch, I invited him in for some coffee and to warm up. We chitchatted for a bit. I have known for awhile (2 year almost now) that he and his wife really miss my stepmom. And today I learned that he thinks of me as a daughter. That was a really nice thing to hear...I appreciate and love my neighbors...I rely on them for quite a bit, I know I can count on them and I hope that they know they can count on me too. They are my "extra" parents. Jean came to see me after Jack's visit...it was great to have her over here too -- I know she doesn't like to come over often as she thinks that she's interrupting my homework but the thing is, I welcome the breaks! I keep telling her that too.
So that was my snow day...visits from my great neighbors to take my mind off homework for a little bit, a nice fire going, a great workout, feeling happy and content with where I am, and then some guilty pleasure (read: bad) movies...all in all, it was a really good day.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Rambling on...
Apparently I don't have many interesting things to say or I'd be posting blogs a bit more often, eh? I figure I should get back in the swing of things as my family seems to be taking an interest in this blogging stuff and I can keep up with them this way now too.
I'm finding as the weather becomes colder I am spending more time locked up inside my house rather than venturing out in the big cold world. The older I get, the less I want to be out in this weather...yes, I make my treks to work and back...or to the grocery store...but other than that I've been staying in the house. I use school as my excuse for keeping my detained in here but that's not always the case...I can put off that homework for a couple hours and get outside if I really wanted to...and THAT is the heart of the matter -- I really don't want to leave my house. I like my house. I like spending time in my house. I enjoy hanging out with my dog and cat...snuggling up on the couch with my glass of wine or cup of hot chocolate (spiked with baileys) or coffee...sometimes watching TV, sometime reading books, sometimes crocheting and sometimes must doing NOTHING but watching out the window at the snow blowing around. Am I becoming anti-social? Is it unhealthy to spend this time alone? No, I don't think I'm anti-social nor is it unhealthy to hibernate for a bit in the winter months...for me, its a needed respite from the crazy noise of my daily working world...home is my haven where I can regroup and recover in order to face Monday - Friday. I bet there are many that feel about their homes the same way I do.
So I say -- Enjoy time with yourself in the comfort of your safe haven home...doing nothing, doing something...doesn't much matter as long as you take and make time for YOU.
I'm finding as the weather becomes colder I am spending more time locked up inside my house rather than venturing out in the big cold world. The older I get, the less I want to be out in this weather...yes, I make my treks to work and back...or to the grocery store...but other than that I've been staying in the house. I use school as my excuse for keeping my detained in here but that's not always the case...I can put off that homework for a couple hours and get outside if I really wanted to...and THAT is the heart of the matter -- I really don't want to leave my house. I like my house. I like spending time in my house. I enjoy hanging out with my dog and cat...snuggling up on the couch with my glass of wine or cup of hot chocolate (spiked with baileys) or coffee...sometimes watching TV, sometime reading books, sometimes crocheting and sometimes must doing NOTHING but watching out the window at the snow blowing around. Am I becoming anti-social? Is it unhealthy to spend this time alone? No, I don't think I'm anti-social nor is it unhealthy to hibernate for a bit in the winter months...for me, its a needed respite from the crazy noise of my daily working world...home is my haven where I can regroup and recover in order to face Monday - Friday. I bet there are many that feel about their homes the same way I do.
So I say -- Enjoy time with yourself in the comfort of your safe haven home...doing nothing, doing something...doesn't much matter as long as you take and make time for YOU.
Friday, May 23, 2008
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