Out of sorts

I'm feeling out of sorts lately...not physically per se (although yes, this week I'm a bit under the weather)...but more out of sorts about me. I'm not enjoying myself much lately...not enjoying me. And usually, I'm pretty happy spending time with me. But lately, I find I have these pangs of loneliness that overwhelm me...but for what I pine, I do not know. I realize this is a tough time of year for me...the holidays don't make me as happy as they once did...I miss family that is no longer with me - those who have departed this world and those who just live too damn far away. I'm okay that I'm alone...that's a choice I've made and is really not a feeling...it's my option as to what is best for my life. So for me being alone is very different than "lonely"...and today, I'm just lonely...and missing something...almost like I'm missing a part of me. The full moon is not helping matters for me...

But, I am a Gemini...so I'm sure by the morning I'll probably be back to my normal bitch self...so I got that going for me. Which is nice.

Snowy Days

So we're back to getting snow here in the heartland...can I just say that I'm very tired of winter already and I know I've still got a long way to go. 13 inches of snow today is just a tad much for me though. I give thanks for my awesome neighbors though...Jack was out most of the early part of the day with his snowblower...the only thing I had to clear out today was the back deck so the dog had a place to do her bidness.

And speaking of my neighbors...Jack was first to visit me today while he was shoveling the front porch, I invited him in for some coffee and to warm up. We chitchatted for a bit. I have known for awhile (2 year almost now) that he and his wife really miss my stepmom. And today I learned that he thinks of me as a daughter. That was a really nice thing to hear...I appreciate and love my neighbors...I rely on them for quite a bit, I know I can count on them and I hope that they know they can count on me too. They are my "extra" parents. Jean came to see me after Jack's visit...it was great to have her over here too -- I know she doesn't like to come over often as she thinks that she's interrupting my homework but the thing is, I welcome the breaks! I keep telling her that too.

So that was my snow day...visits from my great neighbors to take my mind off homework for a little bit, a nice fire going, a great workout, feeling happy and content with where I am, and then some guilty pleasure (read: bad) movies...all in all, it was a really good day.