Thursday, April 19, 2012
Another milestone...
Tomorrow is weigh-in day for our Biggest Loser contest at work...I definitely don't want to let Team Teal down. While I ate well this week, I haven't felt that I've given it my all during my workouts. So tonight, after my nail appointment, I decided to go kick my own ass. And I hit a milestone for me. I ran 3 miles at a pace of 13:00 per mile. I've never cracked the 14 mark before...and tonight I cracked it BIG TIME. My first mile was 12:45! This is huge for me...especially since I've never been a runner in my life! I also walked an additional mile for a total of 4 miles tonight. I'm feeling really good about kicking my own ass tonight... :)
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
April 18th
This day has been a tough for me for 14 years. You'd think that after so many years, the pain of this day would subside. For most of each year that is true...until April 18th arrives. Then the arrives and the memories of losing my Dad flood back in and fill me with sadness, longing and an ache in my heart. I miss him daily...some more than others of course...but April 18th most of all. I always take a vacation day on April 18th so I can visit the cemetery, spend time remembering and talking to him...and being alone the rest of the day with my thoughts. This year is no different in taking the day off...in missing him...in visiting with him at the cemetery. But this year, I also spent some time with a friend today...sharing stories of my Dad and family. Remembering Dad in this different way, by sharing the day and telling someone else who never knew my father a little bit about him, helped me as well. My thoughts and stories were all good memories of DAD...not of this fateful DAY. And that is the way it should be today...good memories of Dad, not that day 14 years ago. I am thankful for my friend spending time with me and listening. Today, of all days, was a very good day.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
25 and counting...
Well, I'm weeks into our Biggest Loser contest at work but more importantly, I'm at the 25 pound loss mark since beginning my new habits on February 1st. Today, at work, 3 people commented or asked about my weight loss and complimented me on how great I am looking...but that is NOT the important thing. It's that I FEEL great! I still have more to go...but this first 25 off is feeling GOOD...I'm not winded walking up the stairs. I'm not feeling like I want more food at lunch or dinner. My biggest 'feel good' about what I'm doing however, came last night...I was meeting up with a friend...got a text that we needed to push our time back a bit later. Rather than going to sit at a bar or restaurant to wait...I hit the gym instead and worked out. And I loved it -- not my usual gym so I got to use different equipment! What a great feeling to WANT to work out...I am loving ME and all that I'm accomplishing right now. Go ME!!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Single...by choice
I wrote this post awhile ago. I saved it as a draft and was re-reading today. I think it actually may be worth posting.
A few weekends ago, I attended a picnic and was talking to some folks there about my experience at the mall the previous day. I try not to go into the mall often...but I had an appointment at the Clinique counter at Boston Store for a "make over" and I was early. Can I come back in 20 minutes? Sure, might as well go to Rogers & Holland to see about replacing my watch battery. My watch happens to be a Movado so battery replacement is not a task the jewelry store can handle -- they must send it out. Which means a wait. And an expense. $65 to be exact for the battery. Well, since I'm going to be without it anyway what else can be done? High-polish for $90? Sure, might as well make the watch look new again.
And back to the Boston Store I head...my Clinique gal is still busy (it was the weekend of prom)...can I come back in about 15 minutes? Sure, might as well head to the shoe department. Where I proceed to buy 2 pair of shoes -- I did have the all-day shopping pass (20% off) but of course, it didn't work on the one pair of not inexpensive Coach sandals that fit and feel so great on my feet which could not be passed up. So, $350 worth of shoes later I head back to Clinique...where my gal is ready for me.
Of course, it being her last day at Clinique, I have to make a few purchases of my essentials and the new items she's tried on my face...which amounts to about $200 worth of product. Honestly, that's not an all-time high at the counter for me.
So all total, my shopping excursion for the day has cost roughly $700. It's only money, you can't take it with you but more importantly it's for a good cause -- ME.
Which is the statement I make at the picnic...which in turn, gets an immediate comment (from a man of course): "No wonder you're still single! It's because you're so high maintenance!" Which of course, makes all the other men around laugh. But makes me pause for a moment...and before I can even respond...my cousin pipes up with "She's not high maintenance -- she buys all these thing for herself and has never asked anyone to but things for her -- she is the least high-maintenance person I know". That made me smile. I then responded (after thanking my cousin) with: "As for high maintenance, I feel I'm special enough to be treated to nice things which I have the ability and means to purchase for myself...I've not found the man yet who understands that about anyone but himself. Men can treat themselves to their 'toys' - cars, motorcycles, etc. But women aren't allowed to treat themselves to their own 'toys' - shoes, clothes, spa days, etc. without being labeled 'high-maintenance'. I've not found a man yet who is 'man enough' to handle the fact that I make a decent living. Which means I can afford to buy my 'toys' or enjoy a $75 bottle of wine or tip extremely well or hire a lawn service. You find me a man who truly is secure enough with himself to be comfortable knowing the woman he's with makes more money than he does -- not just giving lip-service to saying it -- then maybe, just maybe..I'd consider being 'unsingle'."
That quieted the male crowed quite handily.
A few weekends ago, I attended a picnic and was talking to some folks there about my experience at the mall the previous day. I try not to go into the mall often...but I had an appointment at the Clinique counter at Boston Store for a "make over" and I was early. Can I come back in 20 minutes? Sure, might as well go to Rogers & Holland to see about replacing my watch battery. My watch happens to be a Movado so battery replacement is not a task the jewelry store can handle -- they must send it out. Which means a wait. And an expense. $65 to be exact for the battery. Well, since I'm going to be without it anyway what else can be done? High-polish for $90? Sure, might as well make the watch look new again.
And back to the Boston Store I head...my Clinique gal is still busy (it was the weekend of prom)...can I come back in about 15 minutes? Sure, might as well head to the shoe department. Where I proceed to buy 2 pair of shoes -- I did have the all-day shopping pass (20% off) but of course, it didn't work on the one pair of not inexpensive Coach sandals that fit and feel so great on my feet which could not be passed up. So, $350 worth of shoes later I head back to Clinique...where my gal is ready for me.
Of course, it being her last day at Clinique, I have to make a few purchases of my essentials and the new items she's tried on my face...which amounts to about $200 worth of product. Honestly, that's not an all-time high at the counter for me.
So all total, my shopping excursion for the day has cost roughly $700. It's only money, you can't take it with you but more importantly it's for a good cause -- ME.
Which is the statement I make at the picnic...which in turn, gets an immediate comment (from a man of course): "No wonder you're still single! It's because you're so high maintenance!" Which of course, makes all the other men around laugh. But makes me pause for a moment...and before I can even respond...my cousin pipes up with "She's not high maintenance -- she buys all these thing for herself and has never asked anyone to but things for her -- she is the least high-maintenance person I know". That made me smile. I then responded (after thanking my cousin) with: "As for high maintenance, I feel I'm special enough to be treated to nice things which I have the ability and means to purchase for myself...I've not found the man yet who understands that about anyone but himself. Men can treat themselves to their 'toys' - cars, motorcycles, etc. But women aren't allowed to treat themselves to their own 'toys' - shoes, clothes, spa days, etc. without being labeled 'high-maintenance'. I've not found a man yet who is 'man enough' to handle the fact that I make a decent living. Which means I can afford to buy my 'toys' or enjoy a $75 bottle of wine or tip extremely well or hire a lawn service. You find me a man who truly is secure enough with himself to be comfortable knowing the woman he's with makes more money than he does -- not just giving lip-service to saying it -- then maybe, just maybe..I'd consider being 'unsingle'."
That quieted the male crowed quite handily.
Drama
I am not a fan of drama. I do not like to create drama. I steer clear of drama as much as possible. Lately, that's been a difficult thing as I navigate the road of life...I'm encountering drama at work, with family, in my own personal life. To me, this is unacceptable. Yet, how do I stop it? I don't. Which brings me to my control issues. I like control. I like having it. I like being the person with control. Drama to me, means no control. When I have no control I get irritated. When I get irritated, I raise my voice. When I raise my voice, it creates drama. Sigh. It's a vicious circle that apparently I have the power to fix. I am realizing that while I may dislike drama, there are times when I am the one to cause it -- because I've lost control. Of me.
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